stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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