My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize