when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
