So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Found your dick twin last night
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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