you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
