just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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