ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
