i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
