Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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