she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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