...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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