Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
