It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Randomize
