I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
