Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize