I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
nutella sex= disaster
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
