My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
