My balls are so social today.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
