I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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