I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
