..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Randomize
