I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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