I am in a vortex of obligation.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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