Will you blow on my dice?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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