Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
