i don't really know how much tequila is too much
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
