I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
