already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
