My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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