I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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