I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
