Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
My orgasm happened in two different decades
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
