Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
