Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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