You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
