I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
