allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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