Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
