just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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