I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
