Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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