i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
