I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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