You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
