He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
