I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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