Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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