you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
