I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
