Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
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