I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I currently don't understand fingers.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
