i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
