I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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