You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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