OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
