His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
