That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
