I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
