Rock
Scissors
Fuck
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
