ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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