How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
