I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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