I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
