He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
FUCK WHALES
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
