oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Randomize
