Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Randomize
