White coat. Heels.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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