i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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