so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize
