And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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