WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
