Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She even gives head with a lisp.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
