Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
